The Vegan thing, 10 days in.

Admit it, you’ve clicked on this link expecting to hear tales of bacon sandwiches and cheese.

Well, despite finding myself on a thread simply called “Bacon”[1] that’s been running for 7 years on a forum I go on, I have remained vegan. One week in, and I’ve stuck to a vegan diet. It’s not always been easy. I’ve found myself hungry and lost for things to eat on a few occasions, but in general, my diet isn’t actually that different than before. The main change is swopping margarine for soys spread, and not putting cheese in the sandwich. Once a few substitutions have been made, you carry on close to business as usual. You’ve just got to roll with the punches.[2]

To celebrate a week of Veganism, I visited the world capital of hippies and vegans – Glastonbury. Surely, in Glastonbury of all places I’ll be able to find something to eat. Especially in a cafe/restaurant. We ended up in The Blue Note Cafe, unfortunately the choice was limited to burger or burger. I had the burger. A schnitzel burger. A schnitzel burger takes entirely exactly like a burnt turkey burger. Apparently it’s world famous also, so if that’s the best, I wont be trying others.
Glastonbury has an “ethical supermarket” everything in it is vegetarian or vegan. Including a vegan pepperoni pizza. At £5 though, too pricy. They even have vegan washing liquid. It doesn’t come in bottles, you pump your own.

I have also been harassing supermarkets. Sainsbury’s provide a comprehensive list online of vegan suitable foods. Well done them.

Morissons tell you to read the packet. Thanks for that.
Asda think it’s a nice idea, and point out that they label vegetarian stuff. I agree with you, if our products are labelled with a logo like our vegetarian food, it would make shopping easier. Great. They do have a two year old list. It’s better than nothing, but it’s definitely incomplete, and can’t be relied on.
Waitrose don’t have any info in store, or in electronic format, but have promised to post(!) me a copy. Presumably they will print off their computer first…
Tesco are slow to respond to emails.
As are Lidl.
Aldi don’t provide an email contact, snail mail only.
I have found this http://www.animalfreeshopper.com which is great, but I’m not sure it’s very mobile friendly, especially in supermarkets where there is often poor signal.

The work canteen is never going to offer anything, beyond a watery and undercooked baked potato with baked beans. I need to find something I can bring with me, that doesn’t need heating, that I can add to this. I currently have beans and microwave rice in my locker. They don’t make a hugely appealing combination.

The Vegan society has got back to me and I have a mentor. Very exciting. I will email him later and hopefully get some good ideas/guidance.

My wife has started a vegan blog, just for vegan stuff. Have a look.
[1] I’m starting to really miss bacon!
[2] yes I watched the apprentice. I need something to make me angry occasionally.

Richard Herring Christ on a bike review.

Richard Herring is really on form here. There’s a confidence and a relaxed feel to him, his stage presence and delivery seems natural and in control.
He seems to be relaxed with the subject material and this is paying off. The subject of this show is possibly wider than previous shows (a show about Hitlers Moustache for example) which gives him more to work with. He’s also done this show before. This is, if you like, the second coming. It’s the 10 year anniversary of the show, which Richard first did when he was 33, and was comparing his life achievements to that of Christ’s at the same age.

The worst part of the show was that the theatre has the most uncomfortable chairs in existence. Really truly awful. The seat part is flimsy, but the back of the chair as actively trying to hurt you, angled in such a way as to ensure it will dig into your spine. It would be forgivable if this was a makeshift area, but this is a full time theatre space. The last thing a comedian needs while performing is an audience so uncomfortable they want the half to end so they can stand up. Still worth it though.

Richard has suffered a few christian protests outside the gig venues, which I think are unfair. Does he blaspheme throughout? Well, yes. But does he attack religion. Not really. Should it put you off? If you go to something, determined to get angry, then you will. If you go for a comedy night, you’ll get comedy.

The biggest cheer of the night, possibly unfairly, was not for a joke, but for Richard memorising long list. In several different ways. And reciting them. Several times. I’ll leave it for you to see on the DVD, which should be out later this year at gofasterstripe.com.

Also available is Andrew Collings’ Secret Dancing, which, as promised on the podcast, Richard wrote “Shit” on for me.

In the meantime, go and see him, it’s a really good show. He’s nearing the end of the tour, so there are only a few dates left. Tour dates are here.

RichardHerring.com

The vegan situation. Day two.

Here’s the first vegan experiment update. Yesterday was the most hits my blog has ever had. More so than the Inca Temples. I’ts obvious what my audience wants. Apparently more about food and less about comedy.

I am almost constantly hungry. I’m putting this down to portion sizes. For some reason, eating a vegan diet has made my portion sizes smaller. I have made my way through almost a whole bag of apples throughout the day, but it’s not seeming to make a difference.
I’m thinking about food all the time. That’s not healthy, hopefully it’s just part of the newness of this.

I have learned a few key things. Coffee is much better black than with rice milk. Rice milk tastes much better on cereal when shaken properly. Work canteens are woefully inadequate at providing vegan options.
This was the only option available to me today. It was bland and unfilling. I did have the option of having chips instead of the potato. I’m not sure changing the shape of a food counts as an option.

I am going out tonight[1], to see Richard Herring performing Christ on a Bike at the Comedy Box/Tobacco Factory in Bristol (review later!). This presents me with my first “eating out” challenge. The Tobacco Factory is surrounded by pizza places, kebab shops and fish’n'chips shops. Eating a bag of chips feels like cheating and is just a carb fest. There is an Aldi next door and a Tesco extra up the road.
I am trying to avoid the situation altogether. I have had some piri humous on toast and a soya yoghurt. But the gig wont finish for another 5 hours.

In short, it’s not going great. I’m struggling to think of things that I can eat, variety is going to be tricky. Especially while at work and out. What I am eating isn’t filling me.

Also, as is usual for me, I have managed to set myself a large and doomed to failure project to go alongside this large lifestyle change. As usual, it involves learning an entirely new skill[2]. If I’m going to fail, I’m going to do it properly.

I don’t want to quit through just getting annoyed with it. I don’t want to quit because I’ve got bored of the options available. I need to find a few healthy vegan snacks that are actually filling. Any suggestions?

[1] Melanie, I did tell you about this, repeatedly, and most recently last night. I wont be home until late.

Yes.

Yes it is.

It IS on the calendar.

Go and check if you like.

See?

No I didn’t just add it. I booked the ticket last December!

[2] An iOS app. Hopefully more details later.

Experimenting with Vegans.

I’m going to do an experiment. I am going to try[1] and be Vegan.

I’ve thought about this for a while, one word kept going round and round in my head. Objecting loundly and effectively.

Bacon.

Dammit.

I have three reasons for doing this, health, support for my wife, and science.

Mainly science.[2]

I have no ethical problems with eating meat. As a species, we have practical issues with eating meat. The whole land air deal. But eating meat isnatural and part of the food chain. This is not to save the planet, or animals or for guilt reasons.

I have relatively unique eating habits. At home my wife is returning to veganism and has been a strict vegetarian all her life. That will make the process easier, BUT we have two small children.
They are not vegan. Or vegetarian. That’s a choice they can make later in life if they want. It’s not healthy for them to cut meat and dairy. So weneed to prepare meals that can be both vegan and normal.
At work I work long shifts. It’s normal for me to eat all three meals in a day at work. Food preparation facilities are a microwave, a kettle, a toaster and a fridge. During the weekday days, there is a canteen. I cannot leave things in the fridge as they will be “borrowed”. I have a small locker in which I can store non perishables.
I will not eat mushrooms.

The pledge
I have signed up for the “Vegan Pledge” Apparently they will give me some advice and I’ll get a mentor. Practical advice will be really useful here!

My hypothesis. I will be unable to eat a Vegan diet given my eratic and complicated earing and food preparation requirements.
Secondairy[3] hypothesis. The effort, cost and lack of variety involved will make veganism long term unacceptable to me.[4]

Day 1.

The experiment started today at midday. It’s almost a snap decision, and I’ve had a few cups of coffee with cows milk this morning. And a biscuit.

On my lunch break I went to Sainsbury’s. I thought for day one I would have toast with soup, one of those new covent garden ones. The fancy nice ones.
All contain milk.
On investigation, their special nutrition page is not helpful. It lists vegetarian. Itlists gluten free, wheat free, dairy free [5] milk free [6] and garlic free [7], but doesn’t list, or even mention vegan.

I ended up buying this.

Innocent veg pot.
Rice milk.
Soya spread
spicy houmous
Soya yoghurt
Apples
Bread.
Cost £11.95 Ouch. Admittedly there are some things in there that should last several days, it seems like a lot for a sandwich, apples and microwave vegetables. This is not sustainable and will hopefully improve over time.

Here is my first[8] vegan meal.

One hour later, I’m hungrier than before. I did however skip breakfast, have been up since 5:30am and it’s now 16:30.

Coffee with rice milk looks like gravy. It tastes strange. As giving up coffee is out, I may have to start drinking it plain black.

Old Stock
In my cupboard I have a stash of food. What out of it will I be able to eat?

Definitely not vegan.
Princes hot pots (one chicken, one beef)
Cheese and bacon pasta.
Powdered milk.
Macaroni cheese (also one year out of date)

The ones I had to check, that were ok and were not labelled as such.
Pepsi Max Apparently vegan, but full of crap. I’ll probably cut these out.
Baked beans. Labelled as vegetarian, the website also included vegans, and gluten free.

The ones I had to check and were ok and am still not sure about. (any help in the comments appreciated)
Oats so simple (original). Contains Quaker Rolled Oats[9], Stabiliser: Lecithin (soya) not labelled as anything, nothing on the website.
Peanut butter, contains peanuts, peanut oil, salt, dextrose. Labelled as vegetarian. not vegan.
Sainsbury’s Fruit and Fibre. I honestly can’t see anything wrong on the label, but labelled as vegetarian not vegan, no mention of anyting on the website, not even that it’s vegetarian.
Asda brown sauce. The website says vegetarian. I can’t see anything non vegan listed. Lets face it though, I only have this to put on bacon sandwiches.

The ones I had to check and were not vegan.
The super noodles[10] contain powdered milk.
The tomato soup, contains milk.

Day 1 thoughts
From the first day I’ve learnt that rice milk in coffee is nasty, and many products don’t label their food as vegan. This one is confusing, although I can see that some meat eaters find it offputting? Assume that vegan food is automatically weird? Either way, it’s going to make this project a lot harder.
I am also hungry, I still don’t know whether or not I can eat my cereal.

Finally, have some vegan comedy courtesy of the hilarious Myq Kaplan. here’s an iTunes link.

[1] Try is an important word here. As is fail.
[2] I’ve been playing Portal 2 all weekend.
[3] It’s a pun, not a spelling mistake.
[4] I don’t really have a secondary hypothesis, but I really wanted to use the secondairy joke.
[5] this includes chicken soup!
[6] apparently different to dairy free
[7] for vampires
[8] deliberately, I’m sure I’ve accidentally eaten vegan before. Almost certainly considering my wife’s diet.
[9] are they counting quakers as animals? is this why it doesn’t get an ok?
[10] not pictured, I can’t do everything here!

EDIT: Phew, just checked, Jack Daniels IS vegan!