Big Fat Tory Wedding: Review

The Big Fat Tory Wedding programme is often labelled as prejudiced or unfair, but what it actually does is attempt to give us a peek into Tory lifestyle, customs and beliefs which are often very different to our own.

There is often a perception that the Tories are reclusive. There’s no merit to this. Tories are often to be found hanging around fundraisers and yacht parties. However, this doesn’t mean that the Tories are inclusive – outsiders are often shunned and there is a strict code as to who is allowed into their circle. The show explains the strict financial targets and birth lineage needed to be a true Tory. Despite the stereotypes that they are all about money, if you are “new money” or the “wrong type of foreign” you will not be allowed to be a real Tory.

Tory Life
The male Tories have unusual bonding rituals. The programme shows them descending upon an unsuspecting restaurateur and ordering all the caviar. Despite their high spending the owners are not happy as the Tories soon consume too much Bollinger and the Bonsai tree centre pieces bear the brunt of their excitement.
There isn’t much known about Tory women, some question whether women are even allowed to be true Tories, in recent years there have been a few allowed to mix with the menfolk, but they are a rare sight. Tories prefer their women to be quiet and out of sight.

Tory Sites
The arrival of a group of Tories often causes concern for the locals. These locals are concerned that the Tories will move into their local library and close it down. They have heard rumours that the Tories closed down a charity for blind orphan children at the last town they were in because it was not profitable enough and there are rumours of a Local Health Authority being taken in the night, stripped down and sold back to patients in need.

Tory Religion
Despite this seemingly outlandish behaviour Tories are often very proactively concerned about the religious and spiritual well being of others. They hold traditional family values in high regard and scorn any outsider (or “peasant” to use the Tory vernacular) who ends up a single parent. Such a fate is surely a punishment from God for being poor. Punishment is swift and brutal.

These Tories certainly seem like an odd bunch, but it certainly appears that their customs and beliefs seem incompatible with most normal civilised society, for which they seem strangely unapologetic, trying to pin the blame for their anti social behaviour on the poor and disabled.

The Tories are currently putting on a performance art piece about their society. Surprisingly it’s been signed for at least 5 years. It’s currently showing in Westminster but its affects can be felt countrywide.

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Posted in Blog, politics, reviews

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