On why I hate Tesco (today)

Today we had to go to Tesco, as usual I found this spiritually unfulfilling. Every time I leave that place I am blessed with more reasons for hating Tesco.


Today’s list (in order or occurrence)
1) They got me in the store (at this point they have already won)

2) £1 trolley fee for being a customer.

3) Not having a pound coin on me, this being 2013 and all.

4) Cash point to get £10 out

5) 5 minute queue at the customer service point to get change

6) No £5 notes, so change all in pound coins.

7) While following Melanie around the shop, try to use eBay app to buy a keyring trolley token while the kids re-enact the star wars saga.

8) Tesco’s free wifi (in exchange for a complete download of your phones browser history I assume) hijacks my data and asks me to sign in with my clubcard.

9) Faraday cage effect of the tesco store means there is no phone signal

10) Try and sign in to the free wifi, have to enter 20 digit clubcard number.

11) The web portal page has infinite redirect loops.

12) Finally get a login, (i’ve entered my clubcard about 5 times at this point)

13) account locked out due to too many devices registered (thanks to the redirect loop)

14) Reset cache and cookies

15) reset account and reregister

16) repeat, hit infinite redirect loops again

17) account locked out again

18) repeat until we’re at the checkout.

19) Am in a queue (4 checkouts out of 30 open) behind morally reprehensible people who took a baby trolley with the special seat that for some reason doesn’t require a pound coin. This at least gives me a perverse British satisfaction in taking the moral high ground.

20) Hate humanity (and their lack of respect for the clearly defined trolley hierarchy)

21) return home with food, but no bread.

22) repeat.

23) Forget to buy trolley token in relief at being home

24) repeat again next week.

I guess that really just boils down to crap wifi and charging for trolley’s, but it feels better to make it 24 points of rage. Anyway, what happened to us all boycotting Tesco? Wasn’t that a thing? I feel like it should be a thing. Tesco and voting, boycott!

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